We are all together in this liminal space between what once was and what is not yet known regarding the emergent situation in the U.S….
Riding waves of emotions, numbness, irritation, appetite/sleep changes, and difficulty with focus are all normal parts of stress, loss, and change. For most people, leaning into uncertainty increases anxiety, fear, and can exacerbate any stressors that were already present prior to the crisis. You are definitely not alone in these feelings.
Whatever you are feeling is normal and makes sense…
In speaking with my clients over the last week since COVID-19 began spreading in Colorado, I have heard a variety of responses related to nervous system dysregulation, including: future oriented worries that are difficult to stop, cycling anxious thoughts that don’t let up, dismissing the event as “stupid” and minimizing their own feelings, stock-piling goods to feel a sense of safety/control (even if they aren’t needed), checking finances/bank accounts more than is necessary, upset stomachs, nightmares, shortness of breath related to anxiety, difficulty making plans/focusing, irritation with others, loneliness/isolation, overwhelm, either clinging to others or avoiding others, trying to “push through”, and waves of emotion ranging from tears to…to anger…to sadness…to laughter/sarcasm.
It can be a lot to take in right now with the information overload and loss of important routines. The added layer of social distancing (while needed to support community health) also can take a toll on mental health. We thrive in connection to others, so finding alternative ways to connect and cope is vital during this time.
There are coping strategies that help maintain your mental wellbeing through crisis….
I am writing to provide resources/coping strategies for managing the impacts of COVID-19 on our lives and to normalize human responses to this abnormal experience that has turned many peoples’ worlds upside down. Normal coping strategies may not work as well right now, so finding new ways to cope can help. Please read through the following strategies that many of my clients have found useful, and see what may be helpful for you.
Monitor what news outlets/social media you are tracking.
Look for fact-based reports and perhaps limit the number of times you check this each day (enough to be informed, but not overwhelmed/anxious). This is different for everyone- a good place to start is checking once or twice a day and seeing how you respond to more/less. Modify as needed. I have found that once in the afternoon seems to be best, but see what works for you.
Stick to a routine as much as possible.
Change is difficult for most people and finding comfort in the familiar is often helpful. One strategy for settling into a new routine and to begin a “new normal” is to map out the coming weeks with a calendar/game plan. It may be useful to put this in a visible place- such as your fridge or wall. See what works best for you. To start, clear out time and space in your home- gather all of the information you need (emails, texts, notes, etc), take a few deep breaths, get a cup of tea, and pace yourself as you begin. Remember to feel your body and the floor through the process. Fill in your responsibilities (work, meetings, school, grocery shopping) and also schedule fun things to look forward to (online class, hike/walk, video, book club, study group, yoga/meditation/stretch, online game, etc). Try to stick to a regular sleep/wake cycle, have meals at regular times, and get dressed/get out of the house once a day for a distant walk (or related activity). Congratulate yourself for laying a foundation to work off of for the next few weeks!
Nervous System Regulation Strategies.
Identify 1-5 things each day that you have control over/can do or enjoy, set up a facetime/online date with someone you love, stick to a regular meditation routine (if you have one), use healthy distraction (reading, projects you have wanted to do, etc), take 10 (or more) belly/diaphragm breaths (even in/out breath and perhaps slightly longer on the outbreath) several times through the day, get outside and move/discharge anxious energy, express yourself (art or “mood mandalas” are great for this), use cold water/ice packs/wet wash clothes on your face to calm your nervous system, share what you are grateful for/love (either in a journal or with a friend/loved one). Check out this past blog on ways to ground/center when overwhelmed.
Limit Stressful Activities & Plan Ahead for them.
Grocery stores are difficult place to be right now- try to go at a less busy hour (and less busy location), take a list with you (but expect that many things may be out), and be flexible. Plan a relaxing activity before/after this. Consider delivery if this is available. Re-connect with someone you love on facetime/skype/zoom afterwards to shift away from the anxiety present in grocery stores right now.
Track the tendency to avoid/freeze and let important tasks pile up: read important email updates from work/school/loved ones, update your calendar with changing events, take time to learn electronic modes of connection. Pace yourself with this though (don’t try to do it all at once, try working on it for a few minutes at a time if needed). Make small, do-able goals for yourself around this- such as “What is one small thing I can focus on this morning that would help me stay engaged?” If it is still too much, take a break to do something resourcing/relaxing…and set a time to come back to it in a few minutes.
Don’t Suffer Ahead of Time.
It is easy for the brain to think towards the future, catastrophize, worry, and imagine the worst. Monitor healthy planning ahead with staying present in the moment. Do a self check-in/body scan and track what it is actually like for you in the present. Is the sun shining? Do you have the food you need right now? What can you do right now to enjoy the moment? Can you come back to this moment?
Remember….this will pass.
Though it may take some time, this will pass. The nature of life is change. One way to connect to this felt sense is to imagine you are a mountain connected to the foundation of the earth/rock layers. The weather around you is ever changing…from a thunderstorm…to snow….to clouds…to a blue sky and sun shining. Whatever it is, it always shifts. This will also shift. Remember the mountain underneath it all…connect with this as you wait.
Finally, if you need additional support…there are those that can help.
Therapists, and other mental health professionals, are also providing telehealth (video or phone) sessions throughout the crisis to support connection, coping, and health through this difficult time. There are numerous studies that highlight the importance of relational connection to increase resilience and improve mental health. Don’t be afraid to reach out. Psychology Today, for example, has added an alert to identify providers offering video/telehealth sessions. There are also many local therapists who are making the switch to telehealth in order to support the need in Colorado.
Be gentle with yourself, stay well, be safe, and remember you are not alone.
About the Author
Aiya Staller is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Licensed Addiction Counselor, and Board Certified Art Therapist who sees private clients in Boulder, CO, while also working with various mental health organizations. She specializes in trauma treatment/resolution, body-based psychotherapy, art therapy, anxiety, and LGBTQ+ concerns. She is an artist, interested in inspiring others to connect more deeply with their authenticity and resilience.